Couples coaching for a deeper connection—and room to be yourself
You want to stay together—and find a different way of being together. A path that protects your individuality, supports your connection, and evolves the life you want to co-create.
I help thoughtful, creative, growth-mindset couples understand recurring patterns, and, with that insight, nurture new ways of connecting: with empathy, equity, and humor. To be fully yourself. And hold space for each other.
“We love each other. So why does this keep showing up?”
You navigate complexity everywhere else. Yet at home, one conversation can leave you feeling unheard, abandoned, or on the defensive. One of you pushes for resolution; the other deflects and craves space. Work captures your clearest attention. Your relationship receives whatever is left.
Coaching with Anaya helps to slow the patterns down, tease them apart, and then sets the BAR™
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Breathe
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Acknowledge
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Respond
With practice, this embodied insight becomes something you can rely on.
Your relationship is a living, breathing system within a larger world.
Family, friendships, work, and community shape your life together. Together, we explore how to nurture your connection within it all.
What working together looks like
Understand
what’s really happening underneath the surface
Together, we will excavate the recurring patterns stemming from your ancestry and epigenetics:
family culture, history, the themes and old familiar roles, the “parts” you were recruited into…
and, especially, the “big stories” you may invisibly hold around what has been true, for both of you,
for far too long.
Create a safe container
With guided conversation, co-attunement, and body-based awareness, you’ll practice listening in tandem:
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Expressing honestly what matters
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Staying present (especially at those times when when all you want to do is run away)
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Building trust when you had given up
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And perhaps, to your surprise, feeling closer to each other, every time your vulnerability comes forward to claim space
Bring your best
to your day-to-day
Open to understanding.
Express what matters... listen with curiosity.
Repair and reconnect, especially after the difficult moments.
Share the burdens and refuse to go it alone,
even when it seems easier that way.
Make fair agreements: set boundaries around shared responsibilities, reciprocity, being respectful,
and how to address what can become invisible
within your daily lives.
Protect time for each other.
Create rhythms that support ambition, rest, affection,
and shared adventure.
Dedicate daily and anew to "I choose you".
Make room for your desire, laughter, passions,
and celebrate each other’s gifts...
within the life that you love sharing.
Above all else? Believe that you can do this!
Rediscover joy
and wonder
Love your life, together!
Co-create solutions that interrupt stale patterns.
Challenge each other to shake it up.
Stay curious, and think outside the box.
Keep sacred space to honor and embrace your dreams.
Dedicate to equity, and practice the respect
that honors self and other.
Continue taking steps, until you find the rhythm
that you’ll soon name as the “new normal”.
Celebrate your wins, and within the fall-back moments,
“fyi” (forgive yourselves immediately)…
with laughter, love, and fierce compassion.
Dedicate to cherishing, until there are no doubts,
that you are beloved.
There's lots of space for your particular kind of brilliance.
I welcome twice-gifted and neurodivergent folks, empathic intuitives, reflective analytics who might feel skeptical, and all those who are looking to recover meaning within connection. We’ll make room for different sensory needs, processing rhythms, and ways of expressing care.
This work is for couples who want to stay together, even as they are figuring this out. This work is for those whose who are ready to step into full accountability: to transform, evolve, and expand their insight beyond what is familiar. This works welcomes all genders, sexual orientations, ages, and cultural backgrounds. Bring yourselves fully to the table: your uncertainty, your visions, your yearnings, your laughter, your stories, your gifts…and your lived wisdom.
I’m Anaya.
I bring curiosity, compassion, directness, humor and intuitive insight to our work—inviting you to become more present with yourself, and with each other.
In practice since 2006 as a marriage and family therapist, I combine learnings from all aspects of couple therapy modalities, and filter all of these through a systemic lens: Emotionally Focused (EFT), the Gottman Method, Bowen, Structural, Strategic/Brief, Narrative, Solution-Focused Brief, Imago, and BSP/IFS Parts Work; I bring in aspects from the wisdom of many influences including Esther Perel, Terry Real, and Virginia Satir. I infuse all of my work with somatic techniques that foster repair within relationship, in the moment. You will learn actualized strategies, curated to your unique partnership, and I will teach you how to implement and practice together in order to build trust, competence, and connection.
Here, relational insight meets body awareness, somatic practice, creativity, systems work, practical solutions... and joy! For those who welcome it, working with spirituality, including exploring themes of inter-connectedness and meaning-making of significant life events is familiar ground for me. I also recognize and embrace intuitive sensitivity from across generations of my ancestry, while respecting your beliefs and discernment.
I promise to hold space for you, as you move forward to deepen and strengthen your bond.
Let’s begin with a conversation.
